she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
