so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
