it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
