dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
