Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
