But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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