Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
