I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize