The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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