i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
