There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
