Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
