If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
