the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
