Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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