I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
