Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
