maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
