you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize