Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
