I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
