i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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