Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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