In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
