i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
