just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
