He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
