At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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