did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was born a porn star she said
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
