If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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