just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
