So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ugly people sure do ruin things
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
