Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
