I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
