So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
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If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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