My girlfriend figured out who you are.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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