i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
