I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize