True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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