We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
