My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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