dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
