I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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