You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
