Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
