i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
