Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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