A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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