i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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