I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
