For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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