no, he came in my armpit
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
