why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
