That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize