I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
