Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize