he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
