I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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