Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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