Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
