Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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