i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
