it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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