Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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