It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
