You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
