My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
