She's JV to your varsity
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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