they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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